Sue approached me after my BALM® 7C’s presentation. “I want to take the next step. I know I’m part of this stuck cycle and desperate to help. What do I do next?”
Understanding their crucial role begins the family member’s recovery journey. Without a shift in attitude, the loved one’s change becomes harder. The family’s trauma responses and rigid expectations work against resilience needed for mental health and substance use disorders. The disease damages communication, robs peace, and limits choices. Building family resilience gives the loved one their best chance.
I encouraged Sue to reach out. Her call the following week started our partnership on her path to recovery.
The 7C’s presentation opened Sue’s eyes. She wanted to understand how she contributed to the cycle of chaos. The first 3C’s—cure, cause and control—described her reactions to her loved one’s symptoms. “Each professional seemed like they would provide answers to get us back on track,”
”I looked to each professional to provide the answers to get my loved one back on track,” Sue shared. She wanted to shift her perspective and know her role.
The 12 Principles of BALM® form the learning curriculum of the Be A Loving Mirror method. Facilitate Connection teaches these principles through weekly classes or the BALM® online comprehensive program.
Facilitate Connection offers Recovery Life Coaching to fast track the client’s understanding of the family’s role. Recovery Coaching helps lower stress and clears the way for deeper inner work.
I support families toward life-saving change that honors their values.
Sue began with 12 coaching sessions and the online comprehensive program. She studied the first four principles and completed the Fast Track to Family Recovery workbook. Weekly coaching sessions were scheduled before treatment center family counseling. Sue used the new client questionnaire to identify her values, motivated by staying connected to her loved one.
With a loved one in treatment, families should take steps toward their own change. Guidelines help families make the most of their loved one’s treatment experience. Statistics show outcomes improve the longer a loved one engages in treatment.
Sue processed these guidelines in coaching sessions after treatment center visits. Her need to see progress shifted her focus from present to future concerns about her loved one’s education. “I just want to see her back on track,” Sue would say.
The 3S’s tool—sit down, shut up and smile—helped her show up differently to family sessions. She refrained from bringing up upsetting topics unless the therapist initiated them. She practiced active listening without judgment.
The first four BALM® principles shift the family’s attitude. Evidence shows changed attitudes aid recovery. The loved one more likely sustains recovery when the family builds resilience.
Through studying the principles, Sue grew aware of her role. Prochaska’s Stages of Change from Principle 2 helped her meet her loved one where they were. Her listening improved with curiosity and compassion.
Principle 3, Let Go without Giving Up or Giving In, clarified “letting go” for Sue.
Sue carried the practice of the 3S’s to the next level and she stopped obsessing about education and school. She released the notion that treatment was the cure or that change happened overnight.
Principle 4 confirmed what was becoming true—You Can Be Your Loved One’s Best Chance. Sue brought serenity to family sessions. The shift from anxiety-driven prodding to active listening was noticeable. Her loved one grew curious about this change. They built positive connections, often playing basketball while waiting for sessions. Her loved one discussed thoughts and feelings openly without feeling pressured.
New tools supported Sue as her loved one stepped down to lower-level care. Understanding relapse as a symptom of the disease helped her through challenging cycles. Their deeper connection contributed to her calm presence without judgment. Sue stayed focused on her crucial role while holding her boundaries.
Reflecting on the BALM® 7C’s led this mom to seek her own recovery path. Her shift from obsessive focus to aligning with professionals and working on herself contributed to her loved one’s recovery. Calm, connection and improved communication gave her loved one their best chance. Sue’s new resilience met the challenge of relapse. Fear was replaced by belief in her loved one’s capacity to learn from challenges.
“Seeing that my mom was OK gave me hope. I stopped trying to make it look a certain way and took my own steps. I wanted the calm that she had,” stated Sue’s loved one.
Get started for free at Facilitate Connection by signing up for the BALM® 7C’s presentation. These hour-long sessions provide immediate, practical insights for understanding your crucial role.
You don’t have to wait for your loved one to change. You can give hope by being the change you want to see. Visit FacilitateConnection.com to register for a free presentation, or contact Kelly directly at Kelly@FacilitateConnection.com or (410) 714-3511.
Names and specific details have been changed to protect confidentiality.
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